It took me quite a while, but I’ve compiled this exhaustive tutorial on how to convert your iPhone to an iPod Touch. This is confirmed to work on all versions of the iPhone on both Sprint and Verizon. It works on any version of iOS, including 3, 4, and 5.

1. Hold your iPhone in front of you vertically, holding it as still as possible.
2. Utter a magical incantation of your own design. Candidates include (but are in no way limited to) “Shazzam!”, “Abracadabra” and “Poof!”. The choice is yours, really. Sky’s the limit on this one, be creative.
3. Slowly raise the phone over your head, as if offering it to an unseen deity above you.
4. Carefully place the phone on a flat surface, such as a table or workbench.
5. Don’t pay your phone bill.

That’s it! Once you complete these steps, your wireless carrier will disable your phone and data services. (I’ve confirmed that all carriers will do this for you automatically.) Your WiFi will still work as usual. Congratulations! You have successfully converted your iPhone into an iPod Touch! Rejoice and prepare to figure out how to spend the $1200 a year you were spending on something else!

Hi, everybody! I am going to have a table set up across the street from Radio Room on Alberta for Last Thursday. There will be some other fine people there as well, including Keri Friedman and Lucia Johnson.

I will have bamboo notebooks and brooches from makethingsfor.me as well as prints from The Pocket Universe. I will be there from 5pm until I either sell or get sad and wander off.

I drew you a map.

Please stop by! I would love to see you there!

So, in short: Jaybill @ Last Thursday – 7/27/2001 from 5pm on across the street from Radio Room in PDX. Come say hello and maybe buy some stuff.

I decided to throw a quickie site up to display them. It’s called The Pocket Universe.

I hope you will like them as well. I don’t know if I’m going to update the site a ton, but I thought I’d put some of the better ones out there and see what happens.

It’s the car from Peel-Out Summer!

Photo by carphoto. (via Flickr)

This one came up in my Flickr feed this morning. It’s my old pal Dan Meth and what appears to be a giant sculpture of a squirrel. I’m not sure if he’s trying to communicate or if that’s just plain old genuflecting. Maybe he’s trying to intimidate it. You’d really have to ask him.

Photo by danmeth. (via Flickr)

I saw this picture today, which is curious mainly because I watched the James Bond movie You Only Live Twice last night. If you haven’t seen the movie, or don’t recall the absolutely absurd plot, it involves the ever nefarious SPECTRE gobbling up space capsules in orbit to try and induce nuclear war between the US and the USSR. The movie would not have been made more ridiculous if the space capsules were replaced by balloons such as the ones above.

Spoiler Alert: James Bond saves the day near the end of the movie. There is a lot of implied sex.

Photo by funnyrunner. (via Flickr)

I always forget how pretty that place is. I really need to get out there again soon. So amazing.

Photo by michaelav. (via Flickr)

I have owned two Mercs, both were 80s era, yellow and met with tragic ends. I’d also buy another one in a heartbeat.

There is just something special about Mercedes of that era. When everyone else was trying to make their cars look “modern”, Mercedes largely stuck to its design heritage. They’re also built like tanks, and there is something intensely satisfying about simply closing the door in one of those cars. It feels and sounds…solid. Like something just happened. It’s a far cry from closing the door on most American cars, which feels more like closing the lid on an old gas grill.

I would love to get my hands on an SL, such as the one pictured here. The great thing about these cars is that MB still makes all the parts for every car they’ve ever made. They’re not cheap, to be sure, but they exist, which is more than you can say for parts for a lot of other old cars.

Photo by snailtrail.co.uk vw camper hire. (via Flickr)

Kongen og Dronningen, Bispen, Norway.

Sure, it was taken in Norway, but not Norway on Earth. It looks more like Norway on a planet orbiting PSR B1257+12.

Photo by The Library of Congress. (via Flickr)

The P-51 Mustang is one of those machines that was incredibly beautiful even though its sole purpose was to kill people. Certain handguns fall into the same category.

There’s a number of things about this airplane that stagger the mind when you contrast them to modern ones. First off, it was designed from the ground up in 117 days. I doubt you could design the lavatory in a modern aircraft in 117 days, never mind the whole plane. It’s also crazy to me that this thing flew at 400 mph with a mechanical engine and a propeller. There also weren’t any computers, so when you pulled the stick on this thing you were mechanically adjusting a control surface.

Photo by mattinphoenix. (via Flickr)

Stairwell in Årsta Castle south of Stockholm. Built in about 1650, but originating in the 14th century.

I’m posting this because it’s what I imagine the inside of my mind looks like.

Photo by Swedish National Heritage Board. (via Flickr)

I am continuing to develop new products and improve the current ones, but I’ve decided that despite all of my recent assertions to the contrary, I kind of miss working in software. There are a few reasons for this.

First is the emergence of new and wonderful tools, namely, The Play! Framework. Play is a Java-based full-stack that makes building crazy awesome web applications a joy rather than a pain. It’s all the things Rails tries to do with none of the horrendous pitfalls. It also uses Java, an honest-to-goodness programming language that I may or may not have previously crapped all over but have come to love over my long history with it. Play’s automatic compilation and package system (among many, many other awesome things) makes it as convenient to work with as PHP or Python while performing and scaling really well. The template system (based on Groovy) is a snap to learn as well, so it’s really easy to bring front-end people into a project. Combine it with new tools like Github and cloud services like EC2 and S3, and suddenly this stuff is fun again.

I had built a few applications on Play! before my, well, “retirement” and really liked it. When I was asked to take part in Music Impacts, it seemed like the obvious choice for an app that needed to be built quickly, scale rapidly and be easy to improve and maintain. While it has been and continues to be a challenging project, it made me remember what I love about software when it’s at its best: the process finding elegant, robust solutions to hard problems with like-minded people.

Second is that I have completely and utterly abandoned Communit.as, my Zend Framwork-based application platform. The enormous psychic weight of maintaining an application platform having been lifted, it’s suddenly a whole lot more fun to actually develop applications. I had intended to continue working on it in a diminished capacity, but I just have no interest in working on that kind of project any more. Subsequently, if you have any interest in carrying that torch, feel free to contact me. The code still exists (under the name Bolts, it’s a long story) and I’d be happy to work with anyone who wanted to take it over.

So that’s it in a nutshell. In my ever-evolving quest to figure out what I want to do when I grow up, I am now a guy that makes things out of wood…as well as zeros and ones.

Subsequently, if you have or know of a project for which you think I’d be well-suited, please feel free to contact me. I look forward to talking to you!

All my experience in product development (and, if I’m honest, all my experience period…) was acquired via the “fall down the stairs” method. Ergo, I’m going to get to the bottom of whatever I’m learning how to do, it’s just not going to be a pretty process. Product R&D, as it turns out, is time consuming and expensive. With enough diligence, pretty much anyone can make one of something. Figuring out not only how to make something, but make it the same way over and over again, well, that’s a whole different ball of string. Say nothing of the time and money spent on designs that don’t end up working and have to be abandoned.  This is all to say that getting to where I’ve gotten with these notebooks has been quite a bit more of a thing than I thought. Now, though, I have a very serviceable design and a good process for producing it in small quantities. In so doing, though, I’ve very nearly gone broke. It became clear that if I was going to see this thing through, I needed an infusion of cash.

In my usual “grasping at straws when it’s probably too late” fashion, I decided to pitch my idea to Kickstarter. Less than a day later, they approved my project. I know! I’m as surprised as you! This gives me a chance to come up with the money I need to really get this thing off the ground in a meaningful way. While it’s not a done deal, (I still have to actually raise the money) it’s off to a really promising start!

If you’re unfamiliar with Kickstarter, they’re a “group financing platform” wherein people pledge money to a project (usually small amounts) in order to help it get off the ground. In exchange, they get rewards (I’m going to give people notebooks, obviously) for different levels of support. It’s not so much a charity arrangement and as it is an investment. The catch is that it will only actually get funded if the funding goal I set is met, otherwise it doesn’t get funded and I’m back to square one.

Anyway, it would mean a lot to me if you could help me out here. Just head over to the project page, check out the video I made (I knew that whole “failing at filmmaking” thing would come in handy at some point!) and find out more about what I’m trying to do. If you think this is something worthy of your support, I would really appreciate your help and you will totally score a really cool notebook!

And a HUGE shout-out to those of you that have already pledged. I cannot thank you enough.

Additionally, it would also help a lot if you could help me spread the word. Pass this link around to anyone you know that might be interested. Put it on your blog, Facebook, Twitter or write it on your arm with a Sharpie and streak down a crowded street. (Mileage may vary with that last suggestion.)

Finally, if you want to help me keep the lights on (I am not exaggerating in the least. It’s that bad.) while I’m raising the money, feel free to buy a notebook from the shop store any time you like. In fact, when you’re checking out, use the discount code BLOGREADER and you’ll get 10% off!

TLDR: I have designed a bamboo notebook but need financial help getting it off the ground. Visit the project page if you would like to help me.

Here’s an example: This morning I went to my local Giant-Ass Home Improvement Store to pick up some supplies. On my way out, I emptied my cart into my truck and placed it near the left front fender, careful not to block my own egress or anyone else’s. I know, I know. This was my first mistake. I should have returned my cart. I can justify all day that not returning your cart is a victim-less crime and that the store pays people to return the carts and none of it matters. Not returning my cart was obnoxious. Anyway, at this point I got in my truck and started to drive away. As I did so, the apparent owner of the truck next to mine got my attention and I rolled down the window.

“Aren’t you going to return your cart?” he asked, his voice thick with annoyance.

“Um…no!” I said. Not waiting for a response, I turned, rolled up the window and drove away, not looking back. I did hear a bit of a harumph right before the window closed all the way. I spent maybe ten seconds thinking about “the nerve of that guy” and “What is he, the cart police?” but the time I reached the exit of the parking lot, I felt pretty much exactly like what I was: an asshole.

Making matters worse is that I’m fairly certain I will never see this person again, meaning that I am going to forever be an asshole in that person’s mind. Sure, they will probably forget about it tomorrow, but that’s not the point. An impression has been cast. Just as bad, I suppose, is the idea that I might run into this person again in another context. I run a small business and can ill afford to be an asshole to people.

Above all, though, is that though it was a small thing, it was an example of how obnoxious I’m capable of being. How many “asshole moves” do you need to pull before you just are an asshole? I feel bad about what I did and I wish I could find that guy and apologize to him. On the off chance said guy will read this someday, I am sorry, Shopping Cart Guy. That was a dick move that a piece of shit does. I would like to think I am not a piece of shit, but I have given you no reason to think otherwise.

I will perform an act of kindness for a stranger today in the hopes that I can karmically break even.